The Michael Jordan Task (#23)

In a lot of ways Webolution was just like eating thanksgiving dinner. With heart-thumping enthusiasm you await the meal, you eat as much as you possibly can without puking and then you lay down and fall asleep.

Okay, maybe I didn't didn't await it as much as I do thanksgiving but I ate as much internet knowledge as I could and sometime tonight I am going to sleep. Comparing Webolution to a meal did not work out like I had hoped but nonetheless Nancy and Cari's creation has benefited me in numerous ways.

These are some examples of what I now know:

CreativeCommons is now my favorite site to find images that I can claim as my own.

TinyURL could be used for certain pranks.

I can use Picnik to alter pictures of Rush Limbaugh.

These are just a few things I can take from Webolution and I am glad that I actually followed through and completed all 23 tasks.

Nice.

Task 22__Crisis

Here I am.

At one point in Webolution I was so behind that giving up was a serious option. But due to willpower and an insatiable appetite for prizes I am going to finish in time.

I liked the pictures from the cooking blog and the self-help sites were interesting, the next time that my hard drive crashes I might be able to take a DIY approach and save it myself. The politics blog was funny, in a serious kind of way.

Fox News is a joke.

I don't frequent any one blog, but 1hiphop is kind of cool. Dealing mostly with the good hip hop from the 1990s. The stars of today, 50 Cent and Lil' Wayne are totally bogus compared to Organized Konfusion. I had the whole nerd/urban dweller M.O. going on in high school, reading Star Wars novels and listening to Mobb Deep will do that to you.

Task 23 is in my sights.

Task 21__Time Travel

It is the year 2023, I am roughly forty-three years old and living in Santa Clara, CA. I am married to Jane Doe and have two children (Jeanie and Jabari). I work full-time at a job I love and come home each night to an endearing (though sometimes contentious wife) and fill my evenings with dinner, household chores, helping the kids with homework, yelling at the dog and drinking beer on the couch.

My life is that of a typical married man.

Except for the fact that I am also a bounty hunter who is hired by the United States government which pays quite nicely as a secondary source of cash. My outfit is pictured above. To put it concisely, I chase down Bristol Palin and her group of renegades who are trying to privatize the National Park Service so some scoundrel can make money off US citizens who want to watch elk and camp out.

Things get hairy from time to time but I know the fight is worth it. With a renewed sense of satisfaction I go home each night, crack a Budweiser and watch football games or fix the backed up toilet.

Task 20__Pencil

Task 20 featured websites that we all visit quite a bit here in the library. I have used both to help patrons many more times than I can remember. Carol has also helped me decide which local establishments to frequent by looking at the Health Department's restaurant cleanliness rating site, thanks Carol.

I had a little trouble locating the house I grew up in, the map seemed to have some trouble loading. In the past I have helped a patron look up possible meth houses in the city and the website worked fairly well in that regard. Good old drug houses, I love them. Using the website to find places where I could open a drug dealing operation could really work out.

The Colorado state website is also a big hit en la biblioteca. A patron might come in hoping to find a tax form and in most instances it is quite easy to find the form they are seeking. I usually encourage them to commit tax fraud while they are at the desk, being that I am a rebel and all. If professional athletes can do it, why can't the regular joe.

On a side note, can things get any better than having Carrie Prejean as a celebrity in this country?. She is a wannabe Sarah Palin who is so obsessed with lying and pro-family ideals that she forgot to actually live up to her fundamental upbringing.

And Carrie is someone young American girls are to look up to?

Task 19___Aeration

On any summer day the following might have taken place recently.

Standing calmly at the kitchen counter I open up a package of raw hamburger, most likely it would be 80/20 which leads to a juicier burger. As I drop the gooey mass on the plate it makes a "ppphlllattt" sound and I start to mix in finely chopped garlic as well as salt and pepper. The combination works wonders on the tastebuds. I am tempted to eat the raw meat as is but fight the urge because certain people consider it faux pas for some reason.

I go for a flattened football shape on the patties and make sure that I wipe the excess goo from my hands onto my brother's pillow and head out back.

The grill has been heating for about fifteen minutes and with great care I place the patties onto the hot surface. In eight minutes I flip them and in about ten minutes later sit down to enjoy this delicious treat. I enjoy this meal and relax under the shade.

Thankfully, this moment was made possible because I checked the schedule on the staff wiki to ensure that I wasn't working. My knowledge of the wiki is unparalleled, evidenced by my score of 100%. Thank the wiki gods for our plentiful blessings.

Task 18: Bearing Gifts of Hamburgers

Out of all the tasks so far this one means the most to me. The journey that is my life is fulfilled and only because of Task 18. My spirit felt half empty each moment that I experienced prior to this exercise. I can finally go on living now that I have known this level of living. To sum it up, Task 18 is my being and my being is Task 18.

The anticipation of this was building as I used Tiny URL to make a link about one of the greatest basketball players of all time, Terrell Brandon. He was simply the most underrated point guard in the history of the Minnesota Timberwolves. Come on, he had two first names and his style was Steve Nash-esque.

The second part of the task melted my heart like something you might find between hot pancakes. You see, this Zamzar thing has totally changed my perception of file converters. I thought that they all took five hours to download and that you had to give the website your credit card information. Pure ecstasy enveloped me and I fell to the floor like a half-empty bag of potatoes.

I can only hope that MCPLD patrons feel the same way that I do.

Task 17: Disambiguate

Finally getting with sneezing distance of Task 20 so I am pretty excited about that. Even though I have been a slacker through most of Webolution 3.0 redemption will be mine.

This task was actually quite informative to a soul like myself.

I first checked out LibraryBytes and was intrigued by the post on the secret to learning. It was interesting and I found out that the reason I sometimes did poorly on tests in school was that I needed to change my learning location. Instead of studying in the Mesa State College Library I should have studied in the rec center or locker rooms. The different atmosphere would have helped me retain that the information I needed to do well on the exam. I will definitely keep this in mind for the future.

ResourceShelf was great, it had an H1N1 vaccine location finder that brought up a Google maps page showing me where I could get a seasonal or H1N1 vaccine if I was about to keel over. In my last death throes I could run as fast as possible to the Walgreens on North Avenue or their Fruita location and be saved by an employee who would probably have a dish of cookies and milk waiting for me after the injection.

Task 16: Reinvigorate

They sent me to complete a task which only years later do I fully understand. I was sent into the year 2026 to help the resistance ward off the evil advances of Office-Bad, a sentient robot force which was threatening to take over all the ice cream shops in British Columbia. I was a little unsure about my mission, but then again, knowing something doesn't mean you know it all.

In 2012 I had been spending my time developing a new device of liberation called OpenOffice-Good, I had just perfected the inner workings of the device when the people of 2026 had me time warped to the future. Thankfully I had been running a marathon each day and happened to be in excellent shape.

My first assault on Office-Evil was an ambush as they were drinking Schlitz malt liquor and shooting the breeze. I expertly tuned the OpenOffice-Good device and used it to devour the Office-Evil platoons as if they were chicken wings at Eric "Badlands" Booker's dinner table. All in all, I was able to defeat the evil army and make it home in time to catch the Superbowl.

OpenOffice saved British Columbia because it is free, easy to use, and remarkably similar to Office products. I know about the public library uses today and in 2012 I will know about it's other virtuous abilities.

Task 15: Fingerclipped

clipped from www.flickr.com

I had heard that this task was a difficult and so I was a little unsure about how it would all end up. Would I face ridicule from co-workers because of my Clipmarks ineptitude? After downloading the application I found that all of my fears were unwarranted, sort of. I was easily able to clip a picture of the sweet picture you see above. A little window then opened asking me if I wanted to post it to my blog and I agreed to take part in this endeavor. However, it didn't work and I ended up having to embed the picture into this blog. Overall this task was successful and I could see it being used for things such as AskColorado (I'll try it out soon).

On another subject, does anyone realize how good Maurice Jones-Drew and Ray Rice have been this season. These two guys are simply the best thing in the written history of fantasy football. I think they should run together in the 2016 presidential election. How does "Maurice and Ray in 2016" sound? Could you see it? I definitely could. They could just have Jay Cutler (who will be out of the league by 2014) take over their duties during the NFL season.

Task 14: The Spice

During a steamy LA summer afternoon in June 1983 I was approached by David Lynch. It turned out that he wanted me to be the Padishah Emperor in the upcoming Dune movie base on Frank Herbert's award-winning novel. I was unsure at first and asked myself the following questions: Would taking the role affect my academics at Wingate Elementary School in a few years? Instead of being paid money, might I receive compensation in GI Joe action figures? If I become an actor, would I even have to bother with school? Then Lynch and I conversed by using these exact phrases: Lynch: "So what do say kid?" Me: "Uhh I am 4 years old and don't know who you are" Lynch: "Listen, do you want the role or not?" Me: "Do you think you could buy me a Donut?" Lynch: "Sure, I will buy you 15,000 bearclaws if you take the role" Me: "Sweet, let me ask my parents" Lynch: "Radical, have your parents call me fo' sho" Me: "Peace Dave-meister"

And that is why I downloaded Dune from Overdrive today. I have read the entire series and also the author's biography. I would recommend the Dune books to anyone who likes literate Science Fiction. You will not be disappointed.

I have found Overdrive to be more user-friendly but I like both services and the good thing is that most problems can be resolved by checking out the FAQs or just playing around. Most patrons that know about the service truly appreciate it and offer to bring by fresh hot wings. I have never put an audiobook on my MP3 player. If I am pumping iron I listen to nothing but Chubb Rock.

Task 13: Laser Cannon

SoundSnap had some good stuff, I looked for Star Wars sound effects and discovered some
laser blasts/explosions that I have downloaded. I was thinking that when a patron put a book on
hold at the OPAC computers we could have a laser cannon sound effect go off. Something like "Phhhhewwwwwww" would probably work. If I heard a laser everytime I placed a hold I would think I was flying an X-Wing, and that would be awesome.

I also perused ArtistServer and LastFM, ArtistServer was somewhat cool although I didn't find a lot of stuff I would listen to on a regular basis. I have already been to LastFM but I paid another visit and looked around. I typed in Doseone and checked out some information on that dude, did you know that his real name is Adam Drucker?

Websites like LastFM are fulfilling because they sometimes introduce me to a band/group that I end up liking.

On another note, I wanted some chicken wings this weekend but never got to eat any.